In a Nutshell

So, for those of you who know me (and for those of you who don't, listen up) (Yes, Doc, if you've reached this page you're in the right place), I'm really not one for emotions. You know why? Because they get in the way of everything. I enjoy avoiding the drama (thought it NEVER seems to work), and making sure other people's problems do not become my own. As for expressing my emotions, my therapist says that it is important that I try to verbally express my feelings. I'm pretty sure after he said that I laughed. I still don't take his job seriously.

Anywho, here's all the "emotional crap" you will EVER need to know about me.

I hate letting people or things put a damper in my day, so the solution, I don't let people or things put a damper in my day. Most the time I'm not a shining star in the sky, or an incredibly happy person who wants to share rainbows in the world, but I don't want to shrivel up in the corner and cry.

Of course, there was one point in my life when everything was emotional. Every damn thing. I guess I just woke up one day and decided that I wouldn't let people in my life (cough, namely my father, cough) tell me first thing in the morning that I was going to fail in life...when i was only nine years old. My therapist says that it didn't happen over night, and frankly, I agree, but there is no way that I was charting my evolutionary behavior when I was nine years old.

From doing what I did, yeah, you loose "valuable" relationships, but you gain things too. You gain the ability to win verbal spiels with your family, and also avoid them really, really well. All in all, I'm not a family girl. I don't eat dinner with them every night while laughing at a family joke. I'm the kind of person who gets take out, and sits in front of her desk and does her homework while watching House, or Fringe, or Bones, or Castle.

Another up side is that I will never really feel homesick because I don't really feel at home at "home."

Honestly, I don't feel like I've lost anything because there was nothing there to loose. All i lost was a weight...or an annoying, and hate-able monster who was telling me that my fate was failure.

What I've learned from all this? I've learned that I have a crap load of self esteem and that NO ONE should EVER let anyone tell them that they're doomed from the start. I've learned that there are sacrifices that you should make for your own benefit; don't let anyone TELL you who you are, or who you will be because chances are, the more they tell you that, the more likely they're going to be wrong.